I've titled this page darkness because this is how the world appeared for quite a number of years after Julie and John were murdered. Being so close to the reality that people you love actually can be murdered changes your outlook and perspective towards life in general and for a long time nothing seems anything except dark and gloomy.


It took about 5 years for some sense of normality to return.  This wasn't until after two trials (the first one ending in a Hung Jury, despite the fact that during the trial video tapes of a very detailed confession containing details only the murderer could have been aware of were viewed by everyone in the court room) and two appeals made by their killer that were dismissed.


I'm hoping that this page gives friends and relatives of victims affected by murder a better understanding of some of the emotions that one goes through when forced to face a tragedy such as this in their lifetime.


Mum's words at 6.30am the following morning are like a recording on continuous replay.


Lynette... "Julie and John were murdered last night in front of the kids !"


I became hysterical out of anger and shock but then had to quickly recompose myself for my son who had just woken up wondering what had just happened.


Then the reality of never seeing Julie and John again comes to mind.


Not only were they my sister and brother-in-law they were also my closest friends. Being a sole parent they both took in my son and I  as if we were part of their immediate family, thinking of and caring for others just came naturally to both of them.


And the phone call I had with Julie yesterday afternoon was the last time I will ever hear her voice. With John in the background saying hello to my lovely sister-in-law. This phone call is something that will also always remain a cherished memory. One I recall often. Julie telling me how happy they were in their new home and how they all loved it, but that she had a headache and she would call me tomorrow.


And the flashbacks that continue to this day of Julie running for her life and John being shot in the head whilst his children watched in horror. Julie's lifeless body lying on the floor after seeing the videotape played during the trial.


And I wasn't even there.


Then there's the deluge of thoughts and worry and concern for what their children must be going through every day after having this horror occur right in front of their very eyes.


Yes my life definately took a different direction from this day. As does anyone's life who is affected by murder. The ultimate crime. We only get one go at life on this planet. What gives anyone the right to kill anyone. Well they don't have the right.


It appears that they have the right though when you see murderers being given all their rights in a courtroom. Yes you become familiar with this harsh reality once you do the justice trip. It all falls into place why people being murdered is commonplace throughout the world on a daily basis. Well, chit I might as well do it, I can do my time, be given some pocket money and everything I need to survive in the outside world again and woo, I can even come out with a degree if I'm smart enough.


Yeh what the heck, what's 15 years especially when it's all expenses paid.


To loved ones left behind, no jail term is compensation for the murder of anyone.


This person unknown to Julie and John has invaded their home at around 11.00 pm at night and shoots them with 2 rounds of ammunition with their 7 children waking up and running out into the middle of it.


He's been convicted to a non parole period of 20 years. The law has decided since he killed two people in the same place at basically the same time, that 20 years was sufficient punishment.


Like ummmmm excuse us! Who the hell decided that 20 years is sufficient penalty for this slimeball to obliterate Julie and John off the face of the earth and ... and in front of their seven children.


Oh that's right we have laws of course where the criminals rights have been determined and assessed on a fair basis.


I will admit I'm glad this epitomy of EVIL is off the streets for 20 years and that this factor has allowed me to move on with my life somewhat. But 20 years, perlease......


I tried to make an appointment to see him, and not only did I have to wait a couple of days for an answer. He refused to see me. Arghh well excuse me!


Why has he even been given the right to refuse to see me. It should be my right to say what I damn well please to this misinformed coward. But nope in the eyes of the law I haven't. He's murdered my two best friends and the sister I've grown up with for 35 years and the law protects him from words that might flow out of my mouth. He should damn well have to sit there and listen to every single word that wants to come out of my mouth or anyone else's mouth for that matter.


I see regular public floggings as an answer, he would at least be seen to be suffering some punishment for his dirty deed and I could have some consolation by attending each one and hurling some of the abuse he deserves at him.


I'm lucky to have support from my family and friends who have been towers of strength for me over the entire period. But I do have to mention that too often I've heard from people that they stay away from their grieving relative or friend because they don't know what to say or can't deal with it themselves. They need your support. Just being there to listen to all the anger and emotions that will be vented is a big help.


Many times you will also be a welcome shoulder to cry on.


For two years I was shedding tears on a daily basis. Even now tears are shed at birthday and anniversary times and other lonely times.


There's also little reminders that pop up occasionally to remind you of that fateful day. A day you just wish you could erase from your memory. But the sad fact of the matter is that it will always be there as a constant for the remainder of your life.


I find now too that I'm affected more when I see another murder has been committed on the news or read about another in the newspaper.


It truly is way overdue for the pain and suffering of families, relatives and friends of murdered victims to be acknowledged to the extent that it encroaches upon our lives and is way past time that the punishment should be dealt in proportion befitting the crime committed.


This is where the journey towards justice begins.


Murderers have no rights.


They give up these rights once they deprive someone else of their right to their life.


Why should they be given a second chance after committing such an atrocious act against another fellow human being.


Real peace is not just the absence of conflict but the presence of justice.


All murdered victims are owed justice.